Wednesday 14 December 2016

Thinking about Life: Who I Was Before


In this Writing III, I have the same circumstance: same lecturer and some friends as last semester before. I know the lecturer certainly gives more challenges in this semester. On the other hand, I know also my classmates will struggle more to fix those challenges.  Therefore, I should have known what I should behave.  I should have more spirit, motivation, and inspiration. I should write as often as possible, at least more often than before. I should read many books, finding references I am interested.  It is because I have to compete with others in order to be better. However, I did not do all those things. I do not why, but i think that I am not the way I am right now. 

Last semester in Writing II, when I had an assignment, I was about to start working, at least doing brainstorming. I would do it maximally. Therefore, the night before the deadline day, I often slept late in order to revise my work multiple times. Yet, it seems a bit different in this semester. I delayed the assignments some times. I wrote and revised my work at same day. It eased me at the beginning because I did nothing, but I realized it burdened me at the end. I felt so frustrated, afraid that my work would not be finished.


I also liked to do collaborative work last semester. Besides because of sharing different ideas, to be honest, it eased me to finish the assignments—I believe my classmates have the same thought about this collaborative work. However, I now felt doing the assignments individually was better. Perhaps, I did not want to burden others—my partners—due to my personality right now. Yet, I asked someone sometimes about her or his opinion about my work. I knew someone have a different idea about something, and then I should see it from different perspective.


Besides writing on writing class, I also wrote out of this lecture last semester such as short stories and essays (short stories is the most one). Sometimes I wrote it for myself on what I think about something. Sometimes I wrote it for an event, and I got some of my short stories booked or published. But I rarely did such of those things now. Sometimes I just wrote my journal randomly once, and then stop for a few days.


“It is not me,” is my thought after thinking multiple times on what happened to me recently. One of lecturers in my university has said that to do mistake is fine since it is a proses to understand something. Therefore, I think it is the process of who truly I am. All I need to do is to do better when I see a change next to me. My life is still going on; will I get my life again?